There’s a strange space I find myself in lately. I have a vision and feel the calling. I know I want to be fulltime coach this year. And yet… I feel stuck. Not because I don’t care. Not because I’m not capable. But because I’m in the in-between. Waiting for accreditation. Waiting for validation and for something external to say, “Now you’re allowed.” Self-doubt whispers: Who are you to do this? What if you’re not good enough? What if this never becomes stable? And hope answers quietly: You’ve already changed. You’re not the same person who started this journey. The discomfort means you’re growing.
Navigating uncertainty is uncomfortable because there’s no map. No guaranteed outcome. No clear timeline. It feels like standing in fog you know you’re moving, but you can’t see the destination. Some days I feel confident in my vision: Helping people come home to themselves. Holding space. Creating awareness. Other days I feel paralysed. As if I can’t step forward until I have the official accreditation.
As if my legitimacy lives outside of me.
But maybe this season is part of the work. Learning patience. Learning trust and to continue building even when results are invisible. To be honest I still consider myself as a beginner and there’s humility in that. Uncertainty is not proof I am not lost. It is proof I am moving beyond what is familiar.
My Honest Vision of My Career
Doing things on my own is not a space where I can thrive. Being the coach and the strategist and the accountant and the salesperson. And honestly? I don’t want that. Not because I’m incapable.
But because it’s not my vision as a coach. It’s not the wisdom within me is telling me. I thrive in depth. In conversations, development. And in people. Not in figuring out pricing models and not managing everything alone. I want to work with individuals and teams within an organisation. To support growth from the inside. I want to help people navigate identity shifts, leadership pressure, uncertainty and performance without losing themselves.
Running a solo empire to start my career? Definitely not! So I see myself collaborating. Learning from experienced professionals. Being surrounded by the right people who challenge me and help me grow. Working within an organisation could be an ecosystem.
A place where I can:
– Coach individuals through transitions
– Support team dynamics
– Encourage psychological safety
– Bring depth into performance conversations
– Help high performers align with meaning
At the same time, I still want to build something of my own. Slowly. Intentionally. Without pressure. Right now, I’m in a season of humility. I don’t know exactly how much to charge. I don’t know every step and don’t have all the answers. But I do know this: I don’t want to grow in isolation. I want to grow in the right environment. Leadership is not about building something alone. It’s about choosing where you belong and growing from there.
Walking Home In The Evening and Journaling
Some evenings, after work when the noise of the shop fades the future starts asking questions. And sometimes… small quiet tears start to drop. The kind that come when you’re carrying hope and doubt at the same time. I’ve been journaling a lot lately. Not about success. Not about strategy. But about environment. Where do I actually thrive? When I journal on the best thing that could happen for me as a coach, it’s a statement to life.
When I write about the environment where I thrive being surrounded by thoughtful people,
working with individuals and teams, growing inside a structure that stretches me something settles. The vision stops feeling delusional. It starts feeling intentional. On the outside, nothing has changed.
I still walk home from work, Still don’t know exactly how it will unfold. I still question whether I’m ready. But on the page, I assert something important. This is what I want and who I am becoming.
This is the environment where I will grow.
Journaling is the only thing I can control right now. I can’t control when the opportunity comes or how others see me. I can’t control the timeline. But I can keep affirming my direction.
Final Words
Doubt is a quiet season, It doesn’t look like progress. Or doesn’t feel like certainty. But it is often where the real work happens. Milestones rarely arrive wrapped in clarity. Doubt stretches you before breakthrough strengthens you. This season is not loud, but it is intentional. I choose to increase exercise or deepening my SEO learning. Building skill for the future. I choose to write building voice, clarity, and identity. Writing helps me to focus while I share. I love sharing about how to live better.
During this season of my life I get inspiration from so many people. I watch interviews of Arsène Wenger. There’s something almost philosophical in the way he speaks about coaching. When he talks about looking for answers within ourselves, he doesn’t mean isolation, he means responsibility. He means that growth isn’t outsourced. That talent is cultivated from the inside out. It echoes coaching at its purest form: The answer is not in the coach. The answer is in the coachee.
I also follow the journey of Sophie Adenot into space. It feels like watching that philosophy embodied. Her career didn’t suddenly explode into orbit. It was built layer by layer through discipline, excellence, and commitment. A wonderful career not because it is glamorous, but because it is coherent. Purpose aligned with action. Preparation meeting opportunity. It is earned in quiet rooms, in study, in doubt, in repetition.
How could we behave as people who already knows they are becoming this?
