Stoicism is a school of philosophy that originated in ancient Greece around the early 3rd century BCE. Founded by Zeno of Citium, who was Phoenician merchant who, after losing his fortune in a shipwreck, turned to philosophy. He began teaching in Athens at a place called the Stoa Poikile, or “Painted Porch” — from which the name Stoicism is derived.
Stoicism teaches the development of self-control, rational thinking, and inner peace as means to overcome destructive emotions. So at its core, Stoicism emphasizes by living in accordance with nature, cultivating virtue, and focusing only on what we can control while accepting what we cannot.
“We cannot control events, but we can control our responses to them.” (Epictetus)
So stoicism taught that the path to happiness lies in accepting the present moment as it is, using reason to navigate life, and living in accordance with nature and virtue. The philosophy emphasized four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance. It encouraged people to focus only on what they could control like their thoughts and actions. And to let go of everything else outside of control.
Core values
Wisdom – Understanding what is good, bad, and indifferent.
Courage – Facing difficulties with strength and integrity.
Justice – Treating others fairly and doing what is right.
Temperance – Practicing self-restraint and moderation.
My discovery of Stoicism
I discovered Stoicism back in 2023 with a book from Rayan Holiday called the Daily stoic. I read one page a day and it’s part of my morning routine after my cold shower. This book provides quotes and lessons for personal growth. It also teaches mindfulness as well as life management. These meditations give me peace and motivation every morning and reminds my purpose and why I wake up each morning.
The author mentioned above put ancient Greek philosophers quotes and adapt them in our modern world context. By explaining in this way it leads to a better understanding of these quotes from the philosophers. Philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca and much more! So they became my friends and I found a lot of inspiration in stoic quotes and they helped me to live a better and happier life. But also supported me to get out of my comfort zone and to challenge myself. Because nothing will happen in my comfort zone. Exercise reminds me this and as we are now heading toward Summer I have a quote that particularly resonates with me.
“We must undergo a hard winter training and not rush into things for which we haven’t prepared.” Epictetus
This quote above helped me to put myself into uncomfortable situations in order to grow. We see a lot of people complaining about the weather especially in the Winter here in Europe. Sunsets are around 4PM and not much sunlight that energises us in the Summer. These things are out of our control as Human beings. Winters are hard periods for many of us dealing with low energy and mood. That is why I found this period very interesting for me in term of self discovery, pushing myself beyond and learning. I’ve grown a lot in this Winter 2025.
Control of emotions
What I want to explain in this post is the aspect of controlling emotions. Sometimes and very often reacting to certain emotions and feeling can be destructive. Destructive for people around us and it’s very important to be aware of such patterns. I myself have experience in customer relationships as I’m working in hospitality. I’ve found myself in tricky situations as well as uncomfortable conversations. It’s important to analyse what’s really going on within yourself before acting or responding to any situation or people.
Observe but don’t absorb
This is my mantra regarding the management of emotions. Sometimes we see situations or have assumptions about people. Things that displease us and it’s important to know here to refrain ourselves from any judgment. We can’t know what led certain situations to happen and we can’t know the story of some people that lead them to certain behaviours or attitude. A lot of mysteries beyond our understanding to explore and how to learn to live in harmony in this world. If we put our attention to negativity this will become our reality as same as positivity.
“You become what you give your attention to. If you yourself don’t choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will.” (Epictetus)
Mastery of yourself
When you are not guided by your emotions you truly become master of yourself. Nothing can affect you regardless of the situation. I’ve seen so many often in my professional career stressed leaders and even completely overwhelmed sweating managers. Like life was happening against them and completely trapped by their emotions. Awareness is key to acknowledge that something has to change to embrace challenges in a healthier way. In my experience this is more about the fake stories we tell ourselves.
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality” (Epictetus)
“What upset people is not things themselves. But their judgments about these things” (Epictetus)
“No man is free who is not master of himself” (Epictetus)
My friend Epictetus really helped me in not letting myself guided by the thousand lies my brain try to instil me. Instead I relied on mediation to rewire my brain and mindfulness to analyse without judgment what’s really going on. I’ve seen so many people and leaders claiming leadership is to be someone without humility, bragging to be better than others or even allowing themselves disrespect. Sometimes they claim to be on the top of the world. But this in fact hides insecurities backstage.
“Man conquers the world by conquering himself” (Zenon of Citium)
The power of silence
People who speak the least are truly masters of conversations.
In my leadership experience I used to be stressed by always wanted to be the one who speaks the most. On the flip side during my time off with friends I used to feel guilty of being the one who speaks the least. Something I’ve learned during the APC to become a true leader of conversations. It’s to create space of silence to allow the person to do most the talking with active listening. By asking relevant questions to explore and to see what’s inside the person opening up.
“We have two ears and one mouth, therefore we should listen twice as much as we speak” (Zenon of Citium)
Living in harmony
Without judgment of people or judging any situations that can arise in our lives we cultivate respect. Respect for people and respect of ourselves. Acceptance of fate and natural order that govern the universe and focus on what we can influence as human beings. Also by mastering our thoughts and actions for alignment to our values or purpose and this requires self-reflection.
All these things I’ve heard in podcasts while walking in peaceful greenspaces. We can build a better world with such values and I have faith in humanity as the self-development industry is booming across the globe. Living in harmony is possible with that perspective.
My conclusion
Stoicism plays a big part in my self-improvement journey. I accept fate and circumstances easily even when too much happens. Living in the present moment is something I insist a lot . When a lot’s going on whatever good or bad I cultivate humility by meditating on the wisdoms behind every situation. We never know the wisdom behind a challenging or uncomfortable situation. This is acceptance of fate and we have to go with the flow. For me they are nothing but opportunities for growth. Growth in maturity and experience to face adversity with philosophy and courage.
I really love listening to stoicism related podcasts to keep myself reminding the stoic principles. I believe it’s important to have reminders to be even more grounded in focusing on what matter to us in move toward whichever bold direction. Because Stoicism is also about courage, determination and discipline. Discipline is the most important thing I’ve learned over the last two years. And it’s not about being someone narrowminded, cold or distant. It’s about enjoying every aspects of our lives whatever with friends or family. Creating space and being present with people around me. Something I’ve learn recently, to take time with friends in person.
Quotes
As I wrap up this article with few other quotes to reflect upon and would be interested what you think about those.
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” (Marcus Aurelius)
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” (Marcus Aurelius)
“How much worse are the consequences of anger than that which caused it” (Marcus Aurelius)
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants.” (Epictetus)
“Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.” (Marcus Aurelius)
“In your actions, don’t procrastinate. During your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. Within your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.” (Marcus Aurelius)
